Speaking Out Loud

A few days ago, I was tagged by Ma Baydar for the BPP (Blog Post Publish) Challenge, which was started to motivate bloggers to continue writing at their blog. At that time, I thought about what I should write about it.

A few ideas came into my mind, but I rejected them immediately. Should I write about the expensive ticket prices for local concerts, but I don’t’ want to seem like dissing on the celebrities in the public area (unlike in Facebook where I can share my view with 400 people) or about the crazy football fans that entered the football field after Myanmar won against UAE? No, I’ve already gotten into an argument over it with a football enthusiast who thought we shouldn’t blame the fans even when the microphones worth 1.5 million kyats went missing. Should I write about a singer who got divorced because he cheated on his wife? Just thinking about it makes me angry because I found out he had been cheating on her since a long time ago even when she was pregnant with his second baby, but no, I don’t want to write in details about it.

When I created this blog in 2005, I named it ‘Speaking Out Loud’ to share my opinions and views with the readers. But, now I find it difficult to ‘speak out loud’ or share what’s on my mind in my blog.

In the past, I didn’t care who was reading my blog. I was happy as long as people were reading it. Now, I always think about who will be reading my blog before I write something. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Writing in social media like Facebook is one thing. I can easily diss a celebrity or compliment someone in Facebook, but I no longer want to write about them in my blog. I didn’t care in the past, but now I worry about them finding out. I already had a minor experience with a film director who ridiculed my criticism against his Korean remake film in an interview with a local magazine. I don’t want to deal with such kind of people.

There are times I think about continuing my reviews on local films and albums. But then, I stop myself because I’m not an expert. I rarely watch local films and I don’t know much about musical terms. I only know what I like and what I don’t like. Besides, I deal with entertainment news at work so I became lazy to write on my own.

Also, I used to focus on Korean entertainment in the past. I still do like listening to Korean music and watching Korean dramas and films. But, I’ve noticed that only a small number of my friends actually like reading my posts that are related to Korean entertainment in Facebook. Most of the times, my posts are ignored. So, I figure it might be the same for my blog as well.

Another reason is my work. I no longer feel like sharing my opinions with unknown readers in fear of someone from work reading my blog. It’s my personal blog, but sometimes things can get quite complicated at work over small issues. Even when I’m facing difficulties at work, I can only dare to share my thoughts with a small circle of close friends on Facebook.

It’s been over two years since I started working as a translator and I’ve noticed that my creativity continues to decrease over the years since I only translate what others have written. I spend the whole day at work typing English words and I don’t feel like writing anything on my own when I get back home except on Facebook and Twitter.

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